i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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