So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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