I am in a vortex of obligation.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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