this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
