I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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