Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
