bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
