so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
