Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
