absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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