she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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