I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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