Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
