I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
