Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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