she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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