I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
