he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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