So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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