ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
