I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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