hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
