So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
