the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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