Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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