She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
