K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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