marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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