I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
