Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
