It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
