She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
