It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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