She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
