I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
