Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
