No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
