i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
