My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
