Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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