I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
