If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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