last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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