i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so let's talk penis.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
