if you like me you must not know who I am
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
