Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize