Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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