why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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