Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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