this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
