The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Say something about gay babies.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You have to summon your inner elephant
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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