I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
