butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
