Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
