its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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