i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i think my mom watched the whole time
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
