You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My ATM looks so different sober.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
