Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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