I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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